a hierarchy of needs and thoughts from rod’s sermon

I’ve been thinking about this idea of service and the idea of sin. Philippians 2 is a high calling. Specifically, ” if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
The call to service is a call to everyone. It’s not a hierarchy- we are all equally sinful in the eyes of God- and for the believer- equally forgiven. I think it’s easy for me to see myself as better. I have financial resources and a steady home environment- I am worthy of the call to serve. Or maybe those things make me better equipped to serve- or maybe they mean I have to serve. I feel like this passage is leveling the playing field. The unity of Christ, the shared inheritance, the single mind, the humble place- these things require me to see myself as equal.
We had a single mom live with us in Detroit after the birth of her second child. We tried to help her- gave her a free place to live, fed her, loved her children- but in the end she couldn’t agree to our home rules- and it turns out she kept her third pregnancy a secret. I felt angry with her for her choice. While she was living with us she got job training, a job- bought a car- car was stolen- worked on money management. When I found out she was pregnant I felt like she had failed. How could she do this, again? I saw her choices as mistakes- not choices made out of a really painful childhood. I saw myself as separate- better. I would never have made that choice. Or would I have? My interest was for her to get it together for her children- for her to have a job and live on her own. The night before she left we got in a big fight and later she didn’t even call me to say she was pregnant- I found out through the grapevine. When I consider that time I think one of my biggest longings was for her to tell me- to believe that I wasn’t going to shame her- that I was going to love her.
On this fourth of July I consider the American ideal: independence. Culturally, Americans believe the greatest freedom- the greatest aspiration is independence. We can do it on our own. The problem is when you live in inner city Detroit and you experience the decades of sin- namely the sin committed to an entire community when jobs were slowly erased- or when you have a little girl like Jolie- or a little boy like Bentley- you realize the idea of independence isn’t God’s idea- it’s ours. If His goal was independence Paul wouldn’t have written these words. This whole text screams community to me. I feel like the biggest message is: you are in community, there are needs, don’t ever compare the needs- or think yourself better- just serve them. Nothing about this world is holy. God is holy. That is all. I was reading this short devotional today called, “Vengeance is Whose?” The readings were Jeremiah 20: 1-18, Psalm 140: 12, Isaiah 10:1-4
The devotional writes, “We must seek our sin for what it is; not a difference in opinion, or an innocent mistake, or a personal right. Rather, it is a rank offense to God. Our double standard is the very thing that put God on the cross. It isn’t innocent at all. Only when we see the horror of our sin, and the grace of a God who loves us in spite of it, can we begin to know what God’s vision of justice really is.”
My thoughts are not about if we have time to serve- or if we are serving- enough, not enough, etc… my thoughts are about the foundation of serving.
I ought not to think myself better than mothering a child with an intellectual disability. For it was of God. That doesn’t mean there aren’t days that are hard- or moments- but I know I am not to consider my own interests- but the interests of my children- and in my family that means a child with a disability. I ought not think of myself better than my friend who lived with us. I don’t regret asking her to leave- but I do regret the judgment that followed.
It’s quite possible- and even likely- our service begins purely- or perhaps even self serving- but I think the process is what is so important- the part that purifies us. God is purifying me- my unholiness, my selfishness, my lack of tenderness/compassion, through my service. He purifies us all this way. We quickly come to realize our fears, our inadequacies, our longings, and even our gifts through serving- through laying down our crowns- our pride- our agendas.
I found this sermon to be very life giving. I really struggled when we left Detroit feeling like I abandoned the poor in a sense. I abandoned a city I loved. And yet, I felt free to leave- I didn’t leave running or in fear (like the ship to Tarshish)- but in freedom. Yet at the same time still feeling purposeless or without proper service- and I think my greatest sin is seeing the poor in need of a savior like Adrienne and not like Jesus. I am not better than the poor. I am not the answer- and in fact I learned more from the poor than I do from the rich. I learn more about patience and expectations, joy, curiosity, wonder, empathy from my son with the disability- perhaps that’s all in God’s purpose. For when we are weak we are made strong. And God choose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise- there’s something pure in that.