Village Mom, Dad, and Grandpa
Responses (sorted by date)
eric: The Hybrid (4/28/10)
I enjoy listening to Dr. Laura hammer down the relational basics to people. At various times in my own life, I have felt and been where many of the callers are presently. One reason I like her is because she is direct, straightforward, and firm. No BS girl is she.
Recently a young mom called in to the show with questions about parenting. I donít recall the details about her situation but I do recall the main insight Dr. Laura shared. It had to do with the distinct aspect of care each parent, dad and mom, offers the child.
Simply put, she described it this way: when a child gets hurt, moms are the nurturing caregivers who say, ďIím sorry you got hurt. Letís get a band aid on that scrape.Ē They mend the wounds and mirror and process the feelings.
Dads generally offer a different kind of care; they are the ones who say, ďSorry you got hurt. Now let me help you get back up on that bike.Ē
Gentle nurturing and rustic encouraging. Mom and dad. I like Dr. Lauraís take on it because I find that itís true. As a kid, falling off my bike and getting scraped and bruised was scary and painful. And I needed both mom and dad for healing. Mom to mend my wounds and to hear my emotions and dad to hug me and send me back on the bike to overcome my fear of riding.
Now, donít be so quick to disagree and explain the lesson away. Just hear it in its simplicity and beauty. Moms and dads offer different and distinct things and generally speaking, they together offer a blend of care that their children need. We need both moms and dads for balanced care-giving.
And then there are grandparents who come around every now and then and offer what only grandparents can.
I believe The Village has a mom, dad, and grandpa. Can you guess who they might be?
Let me tell you who is who and why.
First, I believe Pastor Rod is grandpa because, well, because he just is. He is the wise, tall, prophetic one who towers as high as the cedars of Lebanon and whose voice thunders with the early chill of pre-microburst showers. He comes to visit from afar and offers advice, wisdom, encouragement, gentleness, perspective, and genuine love. He is the wisdom of years and the family pillar.
Next, I believe Pastor Jimmy is dad because, well, because he just is. He is frank, up on your bike to the point, and, well, pretty rugged. If you want unvarnished perspective on your life, your feelings, your experience, and your lifeís decisions, ask dad. You may come away feeling like youíve been scraped against the bark of a tree or hugged with a vice-grips or loved on by a superhero, but there will be no mistaking what dad feels and thinks about you, your situation, and what you need to do. Tough love is dadís gig.
Finally, I believe Pastor Eric is mom because, well, because he just is. He is the master nurturer. He will process your M & M hard shell coating right off and quickly enter your soft, vulnerable innards and begin housecleaning. If you want to cry just by seeing an empathic frown, call mom. He will console you, challenge you, grow you, and know you like nobodyís business. And thatís what moms do: they love!
Three guys, three distinct aspects of care. Your elders. Your pastors. Your lovers.